A cultural shock

"Lena might use a shrink".

I heard my aunt saying that many times. But if her own mother could not find a way to handle with her, well, I had no idea who would. Lena had a mind of her own. She was very aware of her intelligence and skills, and she developed such an ability to use them that many women around the world would die for.

One day Lena came home with news. -"Ok, Eliza, hurry now!, Mahmoud is coming for us in an hour!". I had no idea who this one was, but it was a common pattern from Lena: She met a guy, she had a new friend and wanted to go out. It was ankward, but Lena always wanted me to go with her, on a sort of a first date, which she sould never admit as a "date".
-"It's not a date, mom. No! it´s not a freaking date!, Eliza is coming with us, what is the problem?". Lena knew her mother would never refuse if she was accompanied by me or another friend.

I took a look at my closet: a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals. -"Eliza: what the hell is wrong with you?"- She was looking at me, with those big brown-inquisitive eyes. -"This guy is loaded with money!!! Do you want him to think I am a looser?". I just hated when Lena treated me like that, but instead of replying I looked for something else. She quickly moved me over, and began to look for a proper outfit. (After all these years, I should admit it was an excellent choice she made.)

As we approached the door, I asked her who he was. She told me he was the son of a somebody. We walked the three blocks that separate our houses, and I saw a big black Suv waiting for us. A tall, slim guy came across the street to meet us. So, it was Mahmoud, but he was not alone: another boy with the same look got out of the car. -"Lena, this is my cousin, Ahmed"- he said. I surprisingly noticed he was looking at me. He was a strong, big boy, with radiant smile and penetrating eyes.

They both were from Egypt. Lena met Mahmoud at a cofee entrepeneurship workshop. My uncle was a prominent business man in cofee industry, and took Lena everywhere, expecting she might become his successor.

We decided to visit the Big Lake, as Ahmed had never been here before, and that place was extremely beautiful. We talked for about an hour before getting there; he told me about his sabatic year, which was about to end, his plans of going to the Faculty of Commerce in Cairo, and his favourite activities: parties, car racings and swimming."Well- I thought- the classical guy". I felt not much attracted, though he was pretty handsome. I had just gone through a sad break-up, and my mood was kind of unestable those days.

We finally got there and had lunch at a small bistro next to the lake. I felt uncomfortable as Ahmed didn`t stop looking at me. He also was very expressive, and for a moment, I thought he was having a fight with Mahmoud: they were screaming at each other. After that, Lena told me that was common, and that they had never had a fight.

Many years later I would understand that: people in Middle East have no trouble in expressing their thoughts out loud.

That day ended up fine. We came back home, and I thought that this might have the first time and last time I would see him. That, of course, did not happen. He called me the next day, and the day after, and so on....

We went out several times; he stood here for about 4 weeks. Enough time, he said, to fall in love. I felt no love, but was certainly attracted to this fascinating man. He was always splendid, and even when I knew his intentions were good, I felt a bit uncomfortable with the lots of presents I had home everyday. I was not used to it, as my parents were extremely careful with their finance. Also, as many conservative christians, we were taught not to spend too much money, as it might be sin (I never shared that idea too much, but had to accept it as part of my values).

Once we went to a club with Lena, Mahmoud and Ahmed. It was a fantastic place, and I enjoyed swimming. Everything was fine, until lunch. We decided to go to the swimming pool. I came out with this red-stripped bikini, which by the way, was not too revealing. When I was about to jump into the water, two strong hands took me back: it was Ahmed, totally out of control. -How can you go out like that!- I was speachless. I had no idea what was he talking about. -What is wrong with you?, this is America!- I said. He wrapped me around with a towel and took me out of the club. I will never forget this incident.

After that, it took him only a few phone calls to make me change my mind. I went out with him again. He apologized and promised to behave. That is when decided to ask him about his opinions and traditions towards women. He explained to me that, even when some women had total freedom to rule their lives in Cairo, he did not want a woman like that. He considered himself a "half of the way" guy. But I finally realized he was just another "macho man" and that it has nothing to do with religion or moral, it was all about breeding.